The Rosen Venture (series)
The Rosen Venture is a series started by DrHotelMario and produced by various other Rosen poopers, including 256Pi. It exists separately from The Rosen Family Chronicles's plotline and is not considered canon, as this particular incarnation of Michael Rosen is very different from 256Pi's character (this one being very dirty-minded, criminal, overall just a big jerk). Strong language is used frequently in the series. DrHotelMario and 256Pi bookend their parts with announcements using their own voices, while RandomAxe and Are109 just show clips of previous episodes. The theme song is "Mahalageasca" from the Borat OST, or in some parts, "Hey U" by Basement Jaxx. Episodes Episode Plots The Rosen Venture Part 1 * Michael introduces himself, telling people that some think he's sexy, some think he's really hot, and some think he's a noice piece of arse. * Michael is at work and is checking out his boss (Michelle Rosenbloom), who gets peeved at him, saying "NOOOOOOOOO Sexual Harassment". But Michael ignores her, slapping her arse and saying he wants to fuck her tight SnanS. (The SnanS counter goes up by one.) She gets angry and fires him on the spot. * Not long after, Michael is seen on the street inside a cardboard box, completely broke. He needs a joj job, so he looks through the nosepaper newspaper to see the classified ads. First he sees an ad for reading and presenting for money under Roger Stockburger, but he can't take that job as no one with a prior criminal history or a vagineck is allowed to take it. (Also the email snans69@activerog.com is seen but the SnanS counter does not go up.) Then he sees an ad to become a Gay Sex Slave and preform gay sex acts on strangers for money, but Michael won't take a job from someone who can't spell "perform" properly. Finally he sees an ad for someone who needs a babysitter (but actually probably only wants to have sex with Michael specifically). Michael willingly takes the job. * Michael arrives at Slutty McFucksalot's house to take the job as "babysitter" (pictured). Slutty first takes care of the kid (by telling it to f***ing shut up) and then invites Michael to her bedroom. The two make love behind a "THANKFULLY CENSORED" screen. Suddenly, Slutty's brother (who appears to be R. Lee Ermey) enters the room and sees Michael in bed with Slutty. He says "Holy plums, you're being friends with my sister!" The Rosen Venture Part 2 * The episode begins with Michael's narration. He and Slutty McFucksalot are in bed together and are staring at R. Lee Ermey. Michael plays out the situation in his head. He could lie and tell him that he's not really doing his sister in the SnanS, but then Ermey would say "Don't say don't, sayas", or probably "if I hear about your SnanS, your SnanS, or the SnanS in your SnanS, if I hear about any of it once more, I shall givethethevigvooshah (give them to the duck.") Or something like that. But that never happened, as instead of talking it out, Michael immediately got out of the bed and ran out of Slutty's flat as fast as he could. * A short scene with R. Lee Ermey chasing Michael around their apartment building ensues. Try as he might, he can not get Ermey to get off his trail. Michael thinks quickly and points out a tree out of the window. A crowd of people flock to see this tree (pictured), including Ermey. Michael uses the opportunity to escape the building and is about to call a taxi, but then remembers that he forgot to pick up his money from his "babysitting" job. Michael re-enters the building, searching for Slutty's flat. He finds one and tries opening the door, but the door's locked, so he breaks it down. Unfortunately, he has broken into the wrong flat, and inside is Michelle Rosenbloom, holding a gun and threatening to call the police. The Rosen Venture Part 3 * Michelle accuses Michael of sexual harassment again, but Michael denies it, saying he didn't harass anybody, and then wondering what she's doing in Slutty's flat (not realizing this obviously isn't Slutty's flat). Michelle still says she won't let Michael get away with sexually harassing her and breaking into her flat, and Michael says that she can't do anything about it (he's motherfucking Michael Rosen, after all). She challenges him to fight her. Michael comes out on top easily, tying her to a chair, duct-taping her mouth shut and stealing her wallet on top of that. * Now holding some money with him, Michael tries to leave the building and call a taxi again, but is cornered by the police, who have come to arrest him for breaking and entering. Michael asks them if they're on the ground floor, and when the officer says that he is, Michael breaks through the window and escapes. He runs down the street with the police following close behind (pictured), and he says "Get out of the way" to some citizens and then breaks into someone's car where Subway can be seen in the background. At first he thinks he's escaped, but the police have gotten into their own car and started chasing him. Michael sees an opportunity to ditch them when a train comes by, separating them from Michael and giving him enough distance to escape. And he says "You can't catch me!" * Having escaped from the police, Michael searches for somewhere to let things cool down for a while. After looking past some wanted posters of him, he sees a sign for "Hoah Ship Caribbean Cruises" and decides to get on. Michael asks to board the ship, and the security guard asks for an ID. Michael gives him Michelle's ID and the guard somehow accepts that. Michael gets on a lawn chair and falls asleep. Suddenly he is awakened by a large gang of pirates. Michael is confused, but then the captain announces to him that he's taken over the ship, and Michael is their prisoner. * After the outro Michael appears in the corner to make the SnanS counter go up by one. The Rosen Venture Part 4 * Michael asks what the pirates are going to do with him, but the captain just snaps "Shut your mouth or face the consequences". Michael then says he'll beat the living shit out of them. Before the captain can react, Michael shoves the lawn chair into them really hard and fast, knocking them over like bowling pins. A large fight ensues, with Michael easily beating most of the crew senseless and killing some others with their own swords (also one killed by the sword randomly explodes for some reason. Shouldn't have put nitroglycerin on that sandwich :P) Eventually Michael runs out of crew members to beat up, so he triumphantly proclaims "It looks like I kicked your butt!" but then the captain holds him at gunpoint. * The captain forces Michael to walk the plank. Michael jumps off the ship, but then lands on a conveniently placed speedboat (sent to him by Drive Properly), which he uses to get back to the city. The speedboat falls in the middle of the street and Michael says that it feels good to be back on land. Unfortunately he has forgotten about the police, who show up immediately and hold him at gunpoint again (pictured). That's when Michael's brain starts doing things. You know, popping out of his skull, barking like a mad dog, and shooting the officer in the face. But instead of dying from the gunshot, the officer suddenly transforms into a giant Older Rosen. * The police try to shoot down the giant Older Rosen, but it shoots a fireball at them, killing them and sending Michael flying. The giant Older Rosen tries to eat Michael, but is distracted by a jet that shoots at it instead. Michael is then thrown into R. Lee Ermey's flat again. At first Ermey, in disbelief that Michael is in his flat, says "Holy plums", but then holds Michael at gunpoint again, saying "I thought i told you that you were being friends with my sister." Before Michael can respond, the giant Older Rosen can be seen roaring not on the floor but out the window. * Michael says SnanS one more time before the outro ends. The Rosen Venture Part 5 * Michael asks Ermey not to shoot him, apologizing for doing his sister in the SnanS. Ermey pretends to forgive him, saying, "I admire your honesty. Ha, you can come over to my house and fall in love with my sister." Michael of course has already done that and visibly shows that he likes the idea of fucking his sister again, angering Ermey, who says "NO, YOU DIDN'T CONVINCE ME!!!" Michael threatens to put Ermey out of the window, but Ermey doesn't believe him, so Michael says that he has chocolate cake, luring the giant Older Rosen to grab the both of them out of the window. The giant Older Rosen eats Ermey, and is about to eat Michael as well, but Michael shits his pants, and Older Rosen is repulsed by the smell, and throws Michael into oblivion. * Michael flies halfway around the Earth and crashes into a UFO. Michael looks around the ship, eventually running into its owner. The ship's owner, The Cthoogle, suddenly gets very angry upon hearing that Michael is inside his ship, and chases Michael away. Michael hides under a box, temporarily making the Cthoogle go away. Michael then gets an idea: spaceships drop bombs, so maybe he can use this one to get rid of the giant Older Rosen. Michael fiddles with the spaceship controls and shoots a bomb directly at the giant Older Rosen. This sets off the spaceship's alarm, so Michael opens up the escape pod and gets away. * The bomb hits its target, but is more powerful than Michael had thought. (Or Michael just didn't care if he ended 20 million innocent lives.) Not only is Older Rosen killed by the bomb, but the entire city is decimated. Thankfully the escape pod lands on a beach far enough away from the city that Michael is safe. Michael walks onto the beach, and is immediately held at gunpoint by the pirate captain, who says "I think you're in really big trouble". The Cthoogle also lands its spaceship on the beach and holds Michael at gunpoint as well. * After the outro, Michelle is seen among the city's ruins, still tied up and with duct tape over her mouth. We can see that she has survived the explosion when she opens one eye. The Rosen Venture Part 6 * Michael is still being held at gunpoint by the pirate captain and the Cthoogle. Michael repeatedly says "Well, that didn't go as well as I hoped" but the captain gets annoyed and tells him to shut up. Michael points out that he was just trying to lighten up the situation, after all people hold him at gunpoint a lot. The captain can relate (although the Cthoogle can't). Michael tries to point out that they're not so different, but the captain still wants revenge on Michael for what happened in Part 4, so he prepares to shoot him anyway. The Cthoogle freaks out and Michael ducks, and the captain and the Cthoogle shoot each other. Michael looks up to see the captain on the other side of the beach and the Cthoogle with his head buried in the sand next to his UFO. Michael takes the opportunity to leave, breaks into a nearby car, and drives off. * Meanwhile, later that night, in the huge wasteland left behind by the bomb, Michelle is walking around and finds a phone booth. She calls Drive Properly, to tell him she needs to leave the area. Drive says to bring Michael, but Michelle catches Drive up to speed. The SnanS counter goes up a few times as Drive attempts to figure out what exactly is a SnanS, but Michelle throws the SnanS counter away in annoyance. As she is about to continue explaining what happened with Michael, Michael listening to a song on the radio ("Ain't that a shame" for the 1967 version) accidentally drives over the phone booth and cuts off the call. Drive wonders if it was a good idea to send Michael his speedboat, and Michelle expresses her desire to get revenge on Michael. * Michael, Michelle, and the captain arrive at a nearby airport. Michelle has come via a taxi driven by Mad Mothz. "Don't shoot me", he said. The captain beats up a pilot and steals his hat. Michael goes through customs, and is asked by Older Rosen if he's a pirate or Michael Rosen. Michael answers honestly at first, but when several guards hold him at gunpoint after he says he's Michael Rosen (pictured), he claims that was a joke, and they let him past. Are109 then appears to steal back a boombox playing his theme song. * Michael gets on the plane, and falls asleep. The pilot, actually the pirate captain in disguise, removes the disguise and holds Michael at gunpoint. Michelle, also on the plane, holds Michael up as well. Michael wonders how they found him. Michelle yells at him for running her over with his car, and Michael admits he didn't know that anyone had survived the bomb. The captain then tells Michael that he disguised himself as the pilot, but then Michael wonders who is flying the plane (of course, nobody). * The captain rushes to the cockpit to stop the plane from falling out of the sky, but only makes the plane go crazy, making Michael and Michelle bounce all over the place. Michael crashes into him and attempts to take over. Meanwhile, the Cthoogle is flying his UFO and is temporarily relieved that the captain and Michael are no longer around. Michael and the captain try to control the plane, but only crash it into the Cthoogle's UFO. They all fall down towards a nearby city, with the plane almost hitting the street. * After the outro, the SnanS counter lands on Older Rosen. He appears to be interested in it. The Rosen Venture Part 7 * During the intro, Michael laments that he never got a shag, and Dave-K interrupts him and tells him not to talk about his sex life. Also The Cthoogle's spaceship crash-lands, and the plane with Michael inside crashes into the Cthoogle. * Older Rosen is screwing around with the SnanS counter, and talking to it (mentioning that his real name is Lemon). Lemon tells the SnanS counter that he was actually the giant that was attacking the city (albeit now shrunken down) and came from Michael's mind. He tells the SnanS counter not to tell anyone about it, but then he is hit by a laser. * Several alien ships are flying down towards Earth. There is a loud noise, and Drive leaves his building to investigate what happened, only to get reeled up by a Macintosh-brand tractor beam. Michael and the others get out of the plane, but as Michael is wondering whether they're okay, they all hold him at gunpoint again (including the Cthoogle). However, they are all dragged up by tractor beams as well. Michael wonders if it's finally time to get a moment's peace around here, but he is dragged up by a tractor beam as well so he doesn't suppose he will. * A friend of the Cthoogle's takes Michael, Michelle, Drive, and the pirate captain to see the Motherfoogle (who looks like some kind of koi). The Cthoogle wants them to pay for wrecking his ship, but the Motherfoogle decides that they won't serve any purpose to them and lets them go. As the Motherfoogle is telling the Cthoogle off, the others decide to leave. Michael asks if Michelle will kill him, but she says that after surviving a plane crash she just wants to go to bed. Michael thinks of exactly what you'd think, and Michelle gets mad at him, telling him to stop thinking about her SnanS for just a moment. They then realize that the SnanS counter is gone. * Lemon, who seems to have been transformed into a laser somehow, hits the mothership and sends it flying out of control. Everybody tries to escape. Michelle and The Cthoogle are trapped on the same ship, which flies into a black hole. While Drive and the pirate captain escape in a separate UFO, Michael and the mothership float into the black hole as well. As Michael and the ship get sent to some alternate dimension or wherever, Michael remembers a poem his parents used to tell him. * Also, Lemon, who seems to have grown larger than the Earth itself and is kind of just an outline (your guess is as good as mine at this point, also pictured), eats the SnanS counter, which after the long delay finally increases by one. Category:Episodes